The last few blogs of this episode have been about my difficulties in having to get sober as the only way of not being a drunk.
For many it works…for others it doesn’t. I’m one of the others.
Today I have begun an alternative.
The Sinclair method basically involves taking a drug an hour or so before you drink, that changes the effect drink has on you. I’ve tried it tonight for the first time.
About 2 hours before planning to drink I took a pill of nalmefene which has the effect of blocking the bit of my brain that goes “aaaahhhhh” when I have a drink. I then drink as I normally would.
Now off course, my idea of normal drinking and everyone else’s, differ by quite a margin. My normal drink involves 3 super strength lager…it’s only an ordinary night after all. If I was having a proper drink then there would be much more chaos added to the mix.
So what happened? I took my little pill, waited 2 hours and then began to drink as “normal”. It’s weird. I can tell I’ve had a drink, I feel drunk but I don’t have that feeling of satisfaction that a drink usually gives. The drinking has almost become slightly mechanical.
I clearly don’t need a drink, I’ve had 3 strong beer, but I don’t have that endorphin high I usually get from a splurge.
I have no idea if this is anything but a temporary change, but for now…I’ve got a way of drinking and getting drunk that doesn’t reinforce my harmful drinking.
The theory is that over a number of weeks I break that connection in my brain between drinking and feeling king if the world. One day my brain will associate drinking with feeling “meh”, I’m drunk again and leave it at that.
When that happens I have choice…somethings sadly lacking in my dalliance with drink for a long long time.
Stage 1 , day 1, feels ok. I’ve had a (few) drinks but I still feel like it’s me making the choices not the hooch.
Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
Anyone feel like commenting if only to call me out on what they see as my bullshit…then please do. This blog is far more interesting if it is more than just the ramblings of a single drunk!